The Marathon

Although I did not have to run a marathon today, I think that would have been more fun. Ok I wasn't that bad, but I'm probably boarderline ADD and truly 3 hour church is all I can handle, ONLY because we get up and move around every hour.

Today I attended the Direct Sales Association's Selling 101 class. I suppose it could have been more fun, especially if--I was with someone I already knew--if I truly wanted be a better networker, and if I would have talked to the hot single Mary Kay girl. :) Anyhow, when we finally got over at 7 pm a full 11 hours of sitting! I said NO I'm not going to the networking dinner, I'm getting dinner on my own.

Dinner was postponed. For as I started to cross the street 8, 7, 6, 5, 4...I realized I had to hussle or I would be come another taxi's hood ordament. I started to run, and I kept running--I ran past my new beloved deli Cosi, I ran past boarders.

Perhaps I was inspired by Forrest Gump, ("Run Forrest! Run!") or the ancient greek Gods were speaking to me, and preparing me for Greece, or maybe I was letting out 11 hours of nuclear energy release, but I soon found myself 15 blocks away at the Lincoln Memorial. I sat down on the steps (pictured above) and though about Jenny and the way things used to be.

I must of then felt Lincoln's presence there, as I recalled infront of that divine statue what an excellent country this is, any how so many folk unknowingly try to tear it apart. But to Lincoln in Andrew Jackson's famous words, "The Union, it must be presevered." And so it must.

We truly live in perilous times. The UN received the U.S. president's words with indifference, while two facious dictators, President Victor Hugo Chavez of Venezuela and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran, without reason or law, and calling the Kettle's black, spew lies and hate.

Revenge of the Ice Axe

This evening I had the pleasure of attending the ward Food Bank service project, where I was transformed to frustrated office worker to Artic Thor, King of the Carrots. Or so perhaps I believed. Actually, our task was scooping baby carrots into ziplock bags. This task seemed simple enough, until we all realized that these 5' x 5' x 5' boxes (or boxen as I like to call them) of carrots were frozen solid.

When I arrived all seemed to be working quite enjoyably chiping away at their boxes and putting the carrots into their bags. There were two ice axes that some of the people were using to chop at the carrots. Of course when axes or any violent thing is available, I must take up arms and defet my opponent. Soon I was hacking at the carrots with full furvor (One girl was glad she got out just in time).

I don't know if it was the power that shone forth on me by this powerful new ally, or if it was my warped MBA mind, but suddenly I found myself managing the whole team. We need one axe scraper (hmmm who should that be?), two scoopers, two baggers and one counter. Soon our productivity skyrocked, the bottlenecks were widened and we were on the path to winning the whole competition. Ok, I suppose when it becomes a competition in my mind it all becomes more of a game.

I don't know what it is about me that enjoys a the competitive elements of games. I suppose it is a natural male tendency, however I seriously love to compete. Now thinking, I should harness this love into work and other worthwhile ambitions. I do believe you can have compeition but not losers necessarily. Winning and lossing is as the point of a curve of time. Once the competition is over all the pieces return back to the game bag. Only is that breif moment in time when the parties are no longer equal.

Anyhow, as soon as I was satified to our finishing first, I then became the Axe man. And I was offering my axeing expertise to the other 3 teams. After team 2 saw my skills he began to cheer me on and enthusiastically calling me The Axe Man

The best part was once it was all over it seemed that some of the people I didn't know yet were interested in getting to know Thor, The Ice Axe Man!

The Wooing Powers

I just realized I came across my 5th anniversary and I thought I'd let the world in on my great secrets of wooing. You see I've been at dating for 7 years and I'm no dummy (Better Off Dead). So I've made an excellent list of what I've found as the great powers of WOOING.

Wooing Power #1 : : : The Art of Humor : : :

Although this list was to comprise a list of skills (i.e. nun-chuck, cage fighting, and drawing unicorns, oh and don't for get my computer hacking skills). Truly a man who can make a woman laugh oft and much can achieve wooing goal #1 -- The woman feels better about herself when she is with you. This fulfills one of her core desires of esteem.

Wooing Power #2 : : : Charity : : :

Charity is much more than kindness. Charity is doing something meaningful (it has to mean something--About a Boy), that they can not do for themselves. This also has to do with going above and beyond the call of duty.

Let me illustrate. There once was a girl in my life, we'll call her Heather, I liked her to begin with and we started to become friends. One Sunday evening we had a fireside, where the audio feed was in Spanish (which would have been fine by me), so they flipped it to the subtitle feed. The problem was I had forgotten to bring my glasses, and I couldn't hardly read the words. My my friend Heather realized my predicament, she read the entire fireside to me. She had made a large deposit into my emotional bank account and I was very attracted to her from then on.

So whether you have something to teach someone, fix their computer, paint their house. Doing things for people that they truly can't do for themselves is another great wooing power. Additionally, this is a powerful wooing agent for both man, woman, friend, but not child (children are charity holes never to be filled).

Wooing Power # 3 : : : The Guitar : : :

For thousands of years man has been wooing women with music. And what better Don Juan technique than through that sweet sounding stringed instrument that sings soothing sounds to the soul, as an intoxicating fragrance to the ears. OK, so that's not quite how I play. But this has been my standard wooing power for quite some time, and perhaps sparked this whole list because I think it's about time to develop some new material. Ever since I played All I Want is You by U2, the women have swooned.

Although there is a caution with this power. It can not be used too often or it's power will diminish greatly. Also, once you start steadily dating someone, beware for some it loses almost all power.

For those of you interested in learning the guitar, I've created a totally awesome indexed super guitar book (super-rad to be exact). You can find it here. (Caution Large PDF link).

Wooing Power # 4 : : : Showing Constellations

I can't vouch too much for this power, but some of the ladies seem to really enjoy a guy explaining where the stars are, but maybe it because he's so close to her and in the dark, away from everyone else?

Wooing Power #5 : : : Cooking : : :

This is probably a subcategory of charity, because if a guy doesn't really love too cook (like someone I know) this can truly show someone how much you like him or her, especially if great detail is taken into the meal as a whole, table cloth, center piece, silverware (yes utensils are a good idea), oh yeah and don't forget the food, make good/tasty food, with the extra mile side dishes.

Wooing Power #6 : : : A Well-Executed Date : : :

This is similar to cooking, but it is simply showing that you've not only made the effort to plan a good date but that everything went well in addition. Things going well doesn't mean that all went as planned, it just means that you or your date didn't get too frustrated about something that didn't go as planned. For example getting to a movie late and you having to sit behind your date cuz there are no other seats, speaking from first hand experience of course.

Wooing Power #7 : : : The Motorcycle : : :

Since I've only driven a motorcycle once, I have little to say about this one, except that surprisingly a lot of "good girls" really do like the rebel nature of James Dean and his hog. Although there is something alluring to riding around with your girl at your back.

Wooing Power #8 : : : The Zealous Worker : : :

If you read my next entry you'll get a great example of this.